Self-Love Mindset

“If one day the moon calls you by your name don't be surprised, because every night I tell her about you.” 

—Shahrazad al-Khalij

Self-Love Mindset

• Over the course of our wonderful lives, we have been subject to a variety of messages around self-love and how to cultivate it

• Most of us have heard this gem “you can't expect anyone to love us until we learn to love ourselves”

• Well there is truth here but the other side of this truth is that many of have experienced childhood trauma, painful experiences, and difficult relationships that makes learning to love ourselves tricky

• The good news is that self-love is actually a skill you can develop — like self-confidence or self-trust - and it's an important one

• Like self-esteem and self-compassion, self-love means you have an appreciation, affinity, and positive regard for yourself

• And to be clear - we are not talking about narcissism - which is excessive self-absorption and self-interest

• Self-love is a positive trait where you embrace both your positive and challenging aspects showering your life, relationships and experiences with positivity

• When we are positive towards ourselves, we are motivated, take action and chances and open ourselves up to opportunity

• Self-love lower stress, protects us from negative thoughts and self-sabotage where we push ourselves too far or end up getting stuck

• At the end of the day it’s as important to recognize that knowing when to say “no” to is just as important as learning when to say “yes.”

• The following are some benefits grounded in science:

  • Self-efficacy - developing trust in our own capabilities, plus a desire to be the best, are key building blocks of self-efficacy

  • Boundary setting - we all kinda suck at this but knowing what to give your energy to and what doesn’t serve you are pretty wowy gifts

  • Lower stress & higher resilience - when we have a high sense of self-love, we’re able to look at challenges as temporary setbacks — or even as opportunities for growth and this attitude helps us become more resilient

  • Empathy - when we are able to see ourselves and accept our strengths and weaknesses with compassion and appreciation, we can also have compassion for others. It is this ability to hold space for other people’s struggles that helps us to become more empathetic

  • Taking good risks - when we have faith in ourselves we are more open to taking risks - a belief that you are worth the investment. Risk-taking isn’t just about doing something that seems fun. It’s also about giving yourself the best possible chance to succeed - we won’t get far in life staying in our comfort zones…

• Tips to practice self-love:

  • Prioritize self-compassion

  • Know yourself inside and out

  • Create positive self-care routines at a deep level

  • Be open and gracious to compliments

  • Create positive affirmations & self-talk

  • Be grateful for your beautiful body

  • Embrace your individual uniqueness

  • Create and follow your healthy boundaries

  • Embrace self-compassion 

• Put simply, we develop self-love by getting to know ourselves more deeply and it is this process of self-knowledge and self-discovery that helps us fall in love with ourselves

• What works for you? I am curious - let me know!